How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Pooping to opera.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
