You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
