mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
