is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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