Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
