Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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