Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
