I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
