She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
