On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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