I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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