I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
