You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
