So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
