Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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