This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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