Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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