Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
