our cab driver is having phone sex.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
