So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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