Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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