LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
