You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
