what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
