Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
