of course. lets lasso hookers.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
