dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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