i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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