we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
