fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
