yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He better not be in your backpack
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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