If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
