I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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