we're blogging at a bar
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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