Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
