What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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