That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
