I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
