I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
