the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
high people should be assigned attendants
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
