im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
