Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
