Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
