I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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