my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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