I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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