dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
