I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
