When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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