I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My penis needs a shock collar
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
