I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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